I cry almost every day, but I've stopped feeling sorry for myself (mostly). I'm making plans....concrete plans to leave. And this is my story.
I've been in a verbally abusive relationship for almost 11 years. And how long have I known it was abusive? About 11 years. And have been married, stupid me, for almost 4.
We have five kids 8 and under. I used to make 85+K a year but after we adopted our 4th "it was decided" that I would stay home. The reality is that one of us made our nannies' lives so miserable that they all left one by one, and spouse said we would never have another live in. My career involved several nights a week overnight call and I couldn't find anyone to watch all 4, so I stayed home.
Now 2 years later, I've sabotaged my career. After 2 years out of the field I would have to go through a formal retraining (at my own expense) in order to work. Kinda screwed.
I've informally, mentally, left this relationship about 6 or 7 times. Moves into a spare bedroom, then I get sucked back in. Not this time. Filed for divorce, then withdrew it after being threatened with not getting the kids because I can't support myself.
But this time I reached out...found a church and confided in the pastor and his wife who say they will try to help. I've opened a storage unit and have slowly started collecting furnishings.
Spouse closed joint accounts and opened up one that I don't have access to. I have $17. Spouse makes >210,000/year. Crazy, huh.
Don't know if anyone will read this, but maybe it could help just on woman tying to escape. It's not easy, but I remain hopeful. Please pray for me.
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